Air France Overnight Bag - some thoughts on lost luggage
[I found this cleaning out my website. It was written in 1999. There were no blogs back then]
Should you ever have the dual misfortune to transfer through Charles de Gaulle and find that your baggage did not do the same, be sure to ask for your consolation prize. After you have been told that your transfer time was too short, despite being six hours, ask for your Air France overnight bag. This is a veritable treasure trove of chinese plastic goods and French perfumes, that will keep you in top condition over the following days. Well, following day anyway.
In addition to the obligatory tooth brush and toothpaste it contains a handy T-shirt, proudly boasting that it is a gift from Air France. What it should say is "my bags went to France, but all I got was this lousy T-shirt." Designed to prevent you sleeping naked while your clothes are located, this one-size-fits-all T-shirt affords discretion to only the shortest of men.
A fold out hair brush with a mirror for a handle will ensure that your hair is in order and a comb provides more portable maintenance. A sachet of Roger & Gallet Fragrant mild shampoo will let you wash your hair. once.
The packaging on the Roger & Gallet bar of perfumed soap informs you that this is the kind used by Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II. Why her majesty uses men's soap is not explained on the box, but it is not the place of economy passengers to comment on the washing habits of the Concorde classes.
A nail file and clippers tends to your tired feet and the shaving foam and razor included in the pack give an excellent shave. Those with unsteady hands will be glad to know that a pack of tissues and a plaster are also provided, should either of these procedures result in injury. The tube of moisturiser included is excellent for finishing the job off. A tube of Lancôme gentle smooth deodorant cream and a bottle of Lacoste aftershave will ensure that you smell nice, even if the clothes you flew in have to be worn for days.
Swanning around your hotel room, clean-shaven, clipped, coiffured, moisturized, smelling like royalty and wearing nothing but a T-shirt must make you irresistible to French women because Air France also provides you with a condom. Only one mind you, but travelling between terminals at CDG takes a lot out of a man. And, like the T-shirt, one size fits all.